God has a funny way of giving us wake up calls to come back to Him even when we think we're already there.
There are so many false realities portrayed to us through the media or friends trying to prove their success, when really they're struggling everyday just like you and me. Post-grad is one of those seasons of false realities. We're told once we graduate, the world is filled with opportunities waiting for us to leap into and flourish in our careers and personal lives to then be able to live the life we've always dreamed of. But the reality is, even if you have an amazing job in the entertainment industry, live in the Hollywood Hills, and are surrounded by wonderful friends, life is still messy and uncomfortable and lonely.
One stressful afternoon, I found myself back in my former home, Malibu. I was in the area for a few hours and reached out to friends, but everyone seemed to be busy. It was clear, God was calling me to be alone and sit in stillness with my own thoughts and with Him. So I drove myself to the ocean, sat with my toes in the sand, staring at the waves and that's when it all hit me. I was not okay.
During this post-grad season, I have been granted incredible blessings and was convinced I was living my best life. I landed a dream job just two months after graduation, while I still had friends searching for employment. I thought I was doing so well; I thought I was thriving. Well, the perfect Instagram version of myself was thriving, but my soul was not. I felt like I had been closer to God than ever, but there was so much shoved deep beneath the surface. I was ignoring my true emotions, which was keeping me from deeply connecting with Him. I was not handling this season of transition as well as I believed I was. It's a season of searching for belonging because I'm removed from my college community and searching to build new community while trying to navigate being a real-life adult all at once. It's a lot to take in. This is the reality of the not so glamorous post-grad season. It's not always pretty or comfortable and it can be very lonely. We are loved by a God who is so much greater than we will ever know and I know I am never alone because He is always with me, but that doesn't mean I don't still struggle with feeling disconnected and alone. But maybe that's exactly it. Maybe this is the season where we are pushed to leap outside of what is comfortable because it pushes us deeper into complete faith in Him.
I recently heard a sermon about how the seasons of in-between can be so uncomfortable yet so beautiful because it means God is making something in you. He knows exactly what you're going through and is leading you to who you are becoming. It's not about waiting to be comfortable, but learning to find joy in the seasons of discomfort.
Most of us only ever really show the perfect Instagram version of ourselves where we filter our lives to look more desirable, but it forces us into a place of perpetual self-doubt and loneliness. This is not of God and we need to encourage each other to be vulnerable and candidly discuss the not-so-perfect side of ourselves, because they make up the roots of who we are and therefore make up the roots of who God is because He created our very imperfections.
I've only been in this season of post-grad discomfort for a few months, but I sure know it isn't as magical as I might have believed, but it is still beautiful. I treasure every trial because I acknowledge they will push me to deeply rely on Him and guide me to His glory.